Goals?

Hi-oh (as Kermit would say)!

I just re-read some of my latest posts. I still feel a bit the same about some of those goals. The difference now is that I am working some new goals, while I have accomplished some of the goals I set out. And even, I have completed some new goals that I set out since the last post.

- Dyson update: Yes!!! My parents (god love them (sometimes) ) bought J and I a Dyson. It was on some ridiculous sale at Lowe's. There is only two in the city, and I am not close to either of them, but good 'ole mom and dad were! I now LOVE vacuuming because you can actually see the dirt disappear. Thank you Mr. Dyson!

- Gardening update: Another Yes!!! I got everything in the garden that I wanted. I have even reaped some rewards from it. So far, we are talking beets, carrots, LOADS of tomatoes, eggplant, cucumber, zucchini and one lone potato. Check it out!

- Painting: Nope. Still nothing. I just don't seem to have the time.

- Repairing relationship with the in-laws: I think so. It's hard to tell. They were here for a 10 day visit. And it went remarkably well. I guess only time will tell.

-Getting fit: Well...it was time. I am the heaviest I have ever been in my entire life. So. I joined a gym. And I got a personal trainer. And I'm trying to eat better. I lost two whole pounds since I started. But I was so uninspired with that two pound loss, that I ate 5 oreos to soothe the sting. NOT RECOMMENDED. So...now I am working out a minimum of twice a week. But I would rather be working out more like 4 or 5 times a week. I guess I will have to talk with J about it. It's a big commitment, but I feel like I NEED this to feel like my old self again.

In other news...I am heading back to work on September 11th. I DID NOT CHOOSE THE DAY. What a terrible omen. But I am really looking forward to it, even though it means that I'll be away from my babies. K starts school this September also. I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the whole thing. No more babies after I starts daycare on September 4th. But maybe that is a step in the right direction to getting myself together?

Ridiculous

Ok. This is ridiculous. I'm falling to the same pattern that I did before. Which is NOT BLOGGING. I can't even believe it has been since April. Ridiculous.

Uninspired

This week has been a bad one.

Did I mention that its Tuesday????

I was working like a crazy person last week - and it was good. It felt nice. It felt like my work, my opinion counted.

Then on the weekend, I stopped working. Not because I wanted to, but because there was no more work. And I went and watched some good friends run a marathon/half marathon in town. Wow.

I didn't realize until that moment, that I really wasn't working toward any goals. At all. Or maybe I am, and I just don't see them. Is that even possible.

Let me give you the run down:

- I have a half completed vegetable garden. I have hit a mental roadblock - or maybe its a weather roadblock. Either way, there should be more in it than there is, and I can't seem to get it done.

- I would like to paint my living room. I am not even close to getting this done.

- I would like to paint the frame of our windows. I have the paint, I have the brushes, I have the sandpaper. I just have no "willpower" to get it done.

- I would like to buy a "Dyson". Yes, I would like to spend $600 on a vacuum. Because it makes my space cleaner. I do not have that $600.

- I would like to start my own business. Essentially doing the same things I do now, for the same people even, but on my terms.

Essentially, I feel like I haven't actually accomplished anything on this mat leave. Not even truly spending time with my babies. How do I get all the things done that I want without compromising?

Garden

I don't know if I mentioned to you that I have a garden. Well, I shouldn't say I have "a" garden. I have several. I have a front garden that has a few perennials, I have a back garden that I have yet to actually do anything to, and I have my vegetable garden.
I LOVE my vegetable garden. It is made up of two 4x10 raised boxes that my dad and I put together a few summers ago. Last year, I added metal posts (and mesh around those) about 2 feet around the whole thing to keep out the critters. This will be the third summer that I have my garden, and the first that I am going to experiment a little with what I put in it.
Two years ago, I had four tomato plants. I told myself I will NEVER do that again. I had more tomatoes than I could possibly ever eat. Or give away. Or donate. IT WAS RIDICULOUS!!!
So then last year, I planted only one tomato. And it didn't do as well as I thought. So I might try two this year.
Last year's fiasco was eggplant. I think I had 8 eggplant plants - which...is too much for any one city block, let alone my family.
So...this year...this year, I plan to plant potatoes (4 types). And artichoke. And carrots. And beets. I might try broccoli. And spinach. I might do lettuce. And peas.
It's actually really hard to decide. Because, you only have so much room, and you want to get things that you love. Carrots, I love. LOVE.
And the rest...well, the rest I can get at the farmer's market if I'm really desperate.
:)

Maternity Leave?

Incase there are any readers from the USA, here in Canada, we get up to 1 year off when we are on maternity leave.
When E was born, I worked in a job where my boss was pretty unhappy that I was off having a baby. And I kept in touch. A lot. Then when K came along soon after my return to work, the boss was even less happy. And I got a bit jaded and refused to call in.
Now with I, I have started a new job, and they are fantastic. BUT...having only been at the company for 6 months before my leave, and having only a 2 year contract has made me a complete spaz.
I mean, I love my job. Don't get me wrong. And I love the work I do. But sometimes I feel like I need to let go a little bit. I need to spend this year with my baby - my very last baby. I need to enjoy the moments of just her and I.
And then my drive (also known as my anxiety) kicks into high gear, and I race. I'm not even sure who I race against. Probably myself. But I take on too many things.
This year, I am on the school PTA, the daycare Board of Directors, I take my kids to swimming, skating, and gymnastics (although truthfully these are slowing down for the summer). Did I mention we also bought a puppy? So we also have puppy class.
And that doesn't include the things I like to do. Sew, knit, try to scrapbook...
And on top of all those things, I also do work from home. Yes...I decided to volunteer my time to work on projects from work. But seriously, it's like an addiction. Sometimes I'm so busy, the day just flies by. And maybe that's why I do it. Otherwise, I don't know what to do, because there is so much to do.
But, I have made a bit of a promise to myself. I have 2 projects left to complete. And after that, I am going to take the summer off. I am going to go camping with my family, and enjoy my 3 girls. After all, this will be the last summer that I can spend hours watching them grow without interruption from work.
What do you think - should I slow down?