Ok. This is ridiculous. I'm falling to the same pattern that I did before. Which is NOT BLOGGING. I can't even believe it has been since April. Ridiculous.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Uninspired
This week has been a bad one.
Did I mention that its Tuesday????
I was working like a crazy person last week - and it was good. It felt nice. It felt like my work, my opinion counted.
Then on the weekend, I stopped working. Not because I wanted to, but because there was no more work. And I went and watched some good friends run a marathon/half marathon in town. Wow.
I didn't realize until that moment, that I really wasn't working toward any goals. At all. Or maybe I am, and I just don't see them. Is that even possible.
Let me give you the run down:
- I have a half completed vegetable garden. I have hit a mental roadblock - or maybe its a weather roadblock. Either way, there should be more in it than there is, and I can't seem to get it done.
- I would like to paint my living room. I am not even close to getting this done.
- I would like to paint the frame of our windows. I have the paint, I have the brushes, I have the sandpaper. I just have no "willpower" to get it done.
- I would like to buy a "Dyson". Yes, I would like to spend $600 on a vacuum. Because it makes my space cleaner. I do not have that $600.
- I would like to start my own business. Essentially doing the same things I do now, for the same people even, but on my terms.
Essentially, I feel like I haven't actually accomplished anything on this mat leave. Not even truly spending time with my babies. How do I get all the things done that I want without compromising?
Did I mention that its Tuesday????
I was working like a crazy person last week - and it was good. It felt nice. It felt like my work, my opinion counted.
Then on the weekend, I stopped working. Not because I wanted to, but because there was no more work. And I went and watched some good friends run a marathon/half marathon in town. Wow.
I didn't realize until that moment, that I really wasn't working toward any goals. At all. Or maybe I am, and I just don't see them. Is that even possible.
Let me give you the run down:
- I have a half completed vegetable garden. I have hit a mental roadblock - or maybe its a weather roadblock. Either way, there should be more in it than there is, and I can't seem to get it done.
- I would like to paint my living room. I am not even close to getting this done.
- I would like to paint the frame of our windows. I have the paint, I have the brushes, I have the sandpaper. I just have no "willpower" to get it done.
- I would like to buy a "Dyson". Yes, I would like to spend $600 on a vacuum. Because it makes my space cleaner. I do not have that $600.
- I would like to start my own business. Essentially doing the same things I do now, for the same people even, but on my terms.
Essentially, I feel like I haven't actually accomplished anything on this mat leave. Not even truly spending time with my babies. How do I get all the things done that I want without compromising?
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